Journal

I’m Going to be a Developer

People say the best way to learn something is to teach it. I’ve been told that starting a coding blog is a good idea so I decided I’d give it a shot.

I’m Ursh. I’m an absolute beginner, so cut me some slack if I write about things I have no clue about and feel free to correct me, give me feedback, etc. But please be nice about it. There’s always something to learn and I’m here to do exactly that.

I started coding 4 months ago, in December, so my knowledge right now is less than 10% in what I need to know—SO nerve-wracking but exciting! Before making the decision to dive into a creative world of endless possibilities, I was in school. I studied Corporate Comm. and English Literature with a minor in Philosophy. “But what are you going to do with a degree SO deadend?” Right. What was I going to do? I wanted to write, I wanted to make a difference, and I wanted to create. But with a degree like that and 10+ internships in PR, social media, and marketing, my options seemed limited and lacked creativity. I didn’t want to be a media planner or spend the next few years being an administrative assistant to an editor. I also didn’t want to write branded content, promoting and selling things that I didn’t fully believe in. I walked away from an industry I knew so well but made me so miserable. The root of my anxiety is often caused by the “image” the media portrays and I didn’t want to be part of that materialistic world. So after graduation, I panicked….hard. Even harder when I landed a job involving numbers, balancing books, investments, and real-estate. I couldn’t help but “lol” at myself. I’d officially set myself up for failure and a life of misery. So three months later, I quit—and got a lot of shit for it from traditional parents who believe in “sucking it up and making money.” *eyeroll*

At this point, I existed with no real direction. It’s not easy figuring out what you want to achieve and what you’re willing to sacrifice in order to achieve it. I took a step back to fully evaluate where I wanted to place myself in order to drive my creativity and my passion for innovation. I looked backwards at my life, connecting the dots of all the things that added value to my life: creating, building, problem solving, challenging my brain. I’ve always had an eagerness to bring my vision into existence through a digital medium; design, animation, web applications, web pages, UX/UI, interactivity, photography, video editing, video games, etc, are all things that I enjoy. I searched deep within myself.

I was midst creating a blog about fashion—because why not put my degree to use?!—and I realized that I liked making the blog “look aesthetically pleasing” than actually writing for it. I knew deep down that I had some gravitational pull to technology. As far as I can remember, I was extremely enthusiastic when I created “awesome” MySpace layouts with simple HTML tags, being the ~special snowflake~ who’s MySpace page looked “different” and “cool” because it was “original.” I look back at that now and realize everyone was doing the same thing I was doing (haha). But there was an intrinsic reward for me every time I learned a new HTML tag and hard coded a simple line. So it kind of clicked.

I’m going to be a developer. I’m going to keep learning every day. I’m going to learn even when I feel the least motivated. I’m going to keep going, I’m going build, and create, and I’m going to be frustrated, and angry, and full of self-doubt, but I’m not going to stop. I’m going to live up to my full potential, I’m going to create something, I’m going to learn Arduino, I’m going to build interactive objects, and I’m going to call myself a developer, as genuinely as ever.